Reflections on Loneliness
Issue 28: Reading "All The Lovers In The Night" By Mieko Kawakami
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All The Lovers In The Night by Mieko Kawakami is a story of a woman in her mid-thirties that is very much existing in her world. Not only does she have trouble establishing and maintaining personal relationships, but she’s also operating in her comfort zone. Although she works well professionally, a big aspect of her life is not yet established, and that seems to be the reason for her lack of fulfillment. As I did my research a little bit, it started to make sense that the point of view of the protagonist could be from the lens of someone neuro-divergent.
There were many times where I wondered throughout this book why our protagonist couldn’t seem to make meaningful connections for herself. Although she is existing quite comfortably, there were times when I wondered if she was actually living the kind of life that she would want to have. She does push herself to be more integrated in society over time, but it makes her so uncomfortable she begins to develop a drinking habit. Perhaps she’s unfulfilled, or perhaps that is also just my projection as someone that operates neuro-typically. But I’m also under the belief that our life is fulfilling not only by what goals we accomplish, but is also dependant on the quality of friends we have around us.
When I first picked out the book, I assumed this book would read very differently. I expected this story to perhaps touch on only romantic relationships based on the title. But as I read on, I realised that this story touches on an important discussion around loneliness in adulthood. Despite the context of the story implying that Fuyuko is neuro-divergent, it’s a chance to look into the disconnection we’ve developed in society to one another. It also gives us a chance to look at what we value as a society and where that falls on our list of priorities.
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In this email we’ll cover:
What’s New
Quotes and Reflections
Insights
Closing Remarks
“Why does the night have to be so beautiful? As I walk through the night, I remember what Mitsutsuka said to me. “Because at night, only half the world remains.” - Mieko Kawakami, All The Lovers In The Night
What’s New?
Book of the Week:
All The Lovers in The Night by Mieko Kawakami
Genre:
Literary Fiction
Synopsis:
Mieko Kawakami’s All the Lovers in the Night follows Fuyuko Irie, a lonely, socially withdrawn woman in her mid-thirties who works as a freelance proofreader. Her life is structured by isolation and routine until she begins to develop an unusual connection with a kind but enigmatic older man, Mitsutsuka, a physics teacher. As their interactions unfold, Fuyuko is forced to confront her past, her fears, and the deep sense of stagnation that has kept her from fully engaging with the world.
Why We Love It:
This story takes on a completely different point of view by expressing through the lens of neuro-divergence. Reading this book an opportunity to develop a sense of understanding through the story’s inclusivity, which Kawakami does this ever so subtly. I also think that Kawakami is incredibly effective in her approach, as this is how people would operate in the world too - often without enough context to make an accurate judgement of another’s circumstances.
When I read this book, my initial thoughts were that perhaps the protagonist wasn’t doing enough or that she was perhaps allowing herself to fall vicitim to her circumstances. However, it became clear with time how much the protagonist struggled with small steps forward. It reminded me personally that until I understand the full context of a person’s situation, any judgements I could make would likely be inaccurate. It moved me to pause and consider that everyone is struggling with their own internal conflict, and that we’re all built differently.
That’s one of the key qualities of this read; we’re reminded of how we’re all different and that there is room for all of us. Perhaps we just need to practice practice understanding and patience with one another. Stories such as this are important because it gives voice to those that may be overlooked in our day-to-day. By including these narratives we not only form deeper understanding of one another other, but also come to realise that connection is such a valuable asset to us as people.
My Thoughts:
Loneliness stood out to me the most as a theme in this book. Fuyuko struggles not only with connection but also with its consequences, such as low self-worth and emotional confinement. It was a reminder of how important our relationships are. Beyond loneliness, the novel also explores themes of self-discovery and personal agency—two aspects that deeply influence how we break free from emotional stagnation. These ideas resonated with me in the way they reflect real-life struggles with identity, growth, and the choices we make to reclaim our sense of self.
While self-reflection helps us understand ourselves better, external interactions can offer valuable insights as well. Fuyuko’s journey is not just about forming relationships with others—it also becomes a process of self-discovery. As she takes small steps to engage with people, she begins to see herself through their eyes, gaining perspectives she might not have recognized on her own. Sometimes, connecting with others brings uncomfortable feedback, forcing us to confront parts of ourselves we may have overlooked. Yet, this discomfort can be a gateway to personal growth.
Fuyuko’s growth is slow and, at times, nonlinear, but this feels true to her character. When someone has lived in isolation for a long time, even the smallest steps toward change can feel monumental. Yet, as she continues to push forward, she gradually moves through her stagnation with more ease. No matter how small the progress, she is reclaiming her agency by facing her personal challenges. While we may not share Fuyuko’s exact struggles, her journey reminds us to extend ourselves grace as we navigate our own inner conflicts. With time and persistence, we can move closer to the life we envision for ourselves.
Reflections
Quote of the Week:
“I thought about the books that I had looked through in the bookstore. It occurred to me that they were full of things that people wanted to say to other people, or things people wanted somebody to say to them.” - Mieko Kawakami, All The Lovers In The Night
Journal Prompts:
For When You Finnd Yourself Stuck:
What are some invisible barriers (self-doubt, fear, routine) that might be keeping you from moving forward? How can you start to dismantle them?
Fuyuko’s experiences with light and beauty contrast with the loneliness she feels. Are there small moments in your life that bring clarity or hope, even when you feel stuck?
The novel explores how habits and relationships can reinforce a sense of stagnation. Think about an area of your life where you feel stuck—what is one small but meaningful step you could take to shift your perspective or create change?
Insights
Author Spotlight:
Mieko Kawakami
Background:
Mieko Kawakami is a Japanese author and singer who is best known for her novels “Breasts and Eggs” as well as “All The Lovers In The Night.” Her writing is often described as poetic, however she is similarly known for the commentary of the female body, ethics and modern society, embedded in her writing.
Other Works:
Breasts and Eggs (2019)
Beyond the Book:
Closing Remarks
“All the Lovers in the Night" offers a quiet yet powerful exploration of loneliness, self-discovery, and personal agency. Through Fuyuko’s journey, we see how isolation can shape a person’s sense of self, but also how small steps—whether through introspection or external connection—can open the door to transformation.
In real life, we often underestimate the impact of small changes. Whether it’s building relationships, confronting uncomfortable truths, or taking even the tiniest step forward, the process of growth is rarely instant. Like Fuyuko, we may struggle, backtrack, or feel stuck at times, but persistence and self-compassion can lead us to meaningful change. Her journey reassures us that, no matter where we start, we have the ability to reshape our lives, step by step.
Her story is a reminder that even when growth feels slow or nonlinear, every effort we make to understand ourselves and engage with the world matters.
Until Next Time!
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Keep living life on your terms.
June Tara
Creator of Spark Siren