Crying in H Mart: A Memoir
Issue 19: Navigating Grief and Loss with Michelle Zauner
Welcome to Spark Siren, where stories inspire impact ✨
Happy New Year, Vixens!
2025 is going to be a fantastic year of positive shifts and exploring more beyond our comfort zones. At least, those are some of my personal goals. To ring in the new year, however, I have selected a read that may not bring in the celebratory mood that some of you may be looking for. If that’s the case, then we’ll see you next week. However, it’s a great read to explore what it means to undergo unexpected changes, especially when regarding the loss of a loved one.
Crying in H Mart felt like a natural successor to reading The Vulnerables, as we’re dealing with profound themes of grief, loss and memory. Although both books deal with separate types of experiences, both centre around overcoming emotional hardship. If you’ve experienced some difficulties in the last year or possibly longer, then this may be the read to help close those cycles out. Crying in H Mart is a hearbreaking account of Michelle Zauner’s experience grieving the loss of her mother, which really touches on the inevitability of life.
Working through our emotions is a daunting but also powerful experience that can help us become more resilient over time. The best way to deal with anything challenging us is to face our emotions head on, experience them fully, and allow ourselves the grace of time before letting go. So having stories such as Crying in H Mart at our disposal, gives us the opportunity to not only deal with our emotions, but go through the motions of another’s experience too. It can give us the sense of acknowledgement and support in the form of media.
In this email we’ll cover:
What’s New
Reflections
Insights
Closing Remarks
“It felt like the world had divided into two different types of people, those who had felt pain and those who had yet to.” - Michelle Zauner, Crying in H Mart
What’s New?
Book of the Week:
Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner
Personal Rating:
⭐️⭐️⭐️
Genre:
Memoir
Synopsis:
Crying in H Mart is Michelle Zauner’s account of her mother’s passing as well as how her relationships have influenced the foundation for her Korean-American identity. The book explores themes of identity, heritage and familial relationships. It touches on the complexities of their mother-daughter relationship and how that became all the more complicated after her mother’s cancer diagnosis at a fairly young age. As the title suggests, Zauner uses food as a fundamental link to her Korean heritage, which also became the primary memories of her mother included in the book.
Why We Love It:
Sometimes we read books that account for a similar experience to us, not because we are unable to acknowledge our own, but perhaps to know that we’re connecting with someone that is going through the same thing. I find that sharing our experiences with each other is beneficial in a number of ways, even when the experiences are incredibly sad.
Representation is so important in media, and this can be in regards to a number of different things, in this case losing a parent. Media is powerful in that way, where we can share elements of our stories with each other. We can help others see different points of view, find ways to be inspired, and perhaps share beneficial information.
From reads such as this, I find that my comprehension of the circumstances strengthens. Sometimes seeing a similar situation from another person’s point of view, can help us understand different aspects of our emotions without escaping them entirely. It’s a fantastic read, regardless of whether or not you’ve dealt with grief. But I think that if you are missing someone, then finding media to engage with can ease the experience a little.
Key Message:
Addressing and managing our emotions are skills that many of us haven’t been taught. That’s not to say that emotions such as grief can be limited, but I do believe that there are elements of shame that surround freely expressing ourselves. Expressing ourselves without judgement is where the challenge lies.
That’s not to say that the author in this context falls within that description, but perhaps as readers we do. Without the understanding and blueprint for what’s considered acceptable forms of expression, it’s easy to want to disregard our emotions entirely. But grief is too demanding to be ignored.
Media such as this may give the sense of ‘permission’ to express ourselves in that regard. Especially within the context of loss. It gives us a safe space to learn about, acknowledge and move through our grief in a safe space. Which is what makes art and storytelling so important for people.
Being able to share our stories with one another gives us the context for better understanding. We can shed light in a way that helps some move through their grief, as well as prepare those who will inevitably have to deal with it later. Our stories matter for us as well as for other people, because it creates greater understanding and opens up pathways to greater forms of expression.
Reflections
Quote of the Week:
“I remember these things clearly because that was how my mother loved you, not through white lies and constant verbal affirmation, but in subtle observations of what brought you joy, pocketed away to make you feel comforted and cared for without even realizing it.”
- Michelle Zauner, Crying inn H Mart
Reflection Questions:
In the book, Zauner expresses how food is a connection to the memory of her mother. If you were to write the story of one of your most heartbreaking experiences, what in would you connect to the memory of that heartbreak?
If you’ve experienced loss at a profound level, how was your experience reading this book?
Experiencing great loss can set us up to move through the world differently. Do you have a moment in your life where you realised that your experiences have changed you?
Insights
Author Spotlight:
Michelle Zauner
Background:
Michelle Zauner is best known as a musician under the name Japanese Breakfast. Although her music career has already garnered acclaim from several music outlets, her memoir “Crying in H MArt” has proven to be a strong work all on its own. Her memoir is raved about on social media, and showcases her multi-talented abilities as an artist.
Beyond the Book:
Closing Remarks
Although there are many different familial formations that exist, dealing with an overwhelming sense of grief can occur when anyone that we’re close to passes away. The human experience encompasses so many different emotional facets, that sometimes when life takes us by surprise, dormant emotions suddenly get activated. These are emotions are hard to avoid and, regardless of circumstance, demand our attention.
Crying in H Mart reminds us all of the fragility of life; time isn’t guaranteed for any of us. It’s an important reminder for those of us who still have the time to spend with our loved ones that it won’t always be this way. Memoirs such as this also provide comfort for those of us who are going through a period of loss, and reminnd those of us who aren’t goinng through those same motions, to value the time that we still have. This can pertain to the loss of a loved one, or even on a more philosophical level, the loss of who we once were.
Reading this book is a reminder to connect with those we love and to also establish our own selves on more grounded footing. Although we may experience change, we will come out the other end. Although her memoir target deeply personal explorations, there are elements of positivity that can be found within these pages too. She gets to remember her mother from having written about her.
In my opinion, her account of her relationship with her mother shows how much she loved and honoured her. Now that her mother’s story has been accounted for in Crying in H Mart, despite the complexities, she gets the chance to live on forever. It’s a look into the love, conflicts, and mutual understanding between mother and daughter. This book read like a testament of love and respect for me. It is also a testament to our inner strength and our ability to see through life’s difficulties to come out the other end.
Until Next Time!
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Otherwise, thank you for being a part of the Spark Siren community, where we inspire impact through the power of story.
Keep living life on your terms.
Warm regards,
June Tara
Creator of Spark Siren