Cultivating Self-Respect
Thoughts on enhancing our perception of love by reading Cheryl Strayed's “Tiny Beautiful Things”
Introduction
Cheryl Strayed’s writing has stayed with me over the years. I first read this book a few years ago, and certain pieces of advice have resonated heavily with me. Although Strayed directly delivers her advice, I feel that she always gets her message across as a result. This is not only a book on advice but also showed me how wisdom can be accumulated through experience and reflection. It doesn’t always require us to have lived a certain number of years, although time does help. It’s a fantastic book that I would recommend to anyone who perhaps finds themselves to be a little lost or at a crossroads.
“Trusting yourself means living out what you already know to be true.”-Cheryl Strayed, Tiny Beautiful Things
Thoughts
Developing self-respect is an important but challenging concept to put into practice. Today’s media often emphasizes self-love, which can help increase our respect for ourselves. However, self-love is rooted in the concept of respect, which can help us embrace other related concepts and ultimately lead to greater self-love. By prioritizing self-respect, we can create a foundation for a healthier and more fulfilling life.
“Tiny, Beautiful Things” by Cheryl Strayed is a compilation of essays that showcase her unique writing style, to which she responds using the pseudonym “Sugar.” Originally a feature in The Rumpus, an online magazine, the book provides a platform for readers to air out their real-life concerns and receive honest advice. The anonymous nature of the column makes it a safe space for readers to share their concerns without fear of judgment. Cheryl Strayed’s book “Tiny Beautiful Things” addresses some of the most heartbreaking letters from readers seeking advice, and Sugar’s responses are characterized by clarity, empathy, and most importantly, honesty, making this book a must-read for anyone seeking guidance on life’s challenges.
Cheryl Strayed’s book challenges readers to expand their understanding of love and life in the present moment, an act of self-respect in itself. Through her powerful words, Strayed addresses common questions and feelings about love, relationships, heartache, and difficult situations, providing clarity and insight. Reading the book helped me become more aware of my surroundings, people’s intentions, and my thoughts about my circumstances, leading me to wonder what it means to truly love oneself and how to cultivate self-respect to further personal growth.
Building respect is crucial in any relationship, including the one with yourself. When a foundation of respect exists, no matter the situation, there is always room for civil interaction. Respect establishes that each person is deserving of a certain standard of acknowledgment, fostering healthier relationships. However, it’s worth considering whether we extend that same level of respect and acknowledgment to ourselves. It’s all too common to neglect our standards and boundaries in an effort not to inconvenience others. This begs the question, what kind of relationship are we establishing with ourselves if we don’t show up for ourselves? It’s important to prioritize our self-respect and establish a healthy relationship with ourselves, just as we would in any other relationship.
The unifying theme is resilience and faith. The unifying theme is being a warrior and a motherfucker. It is not fragility. It’s strength. It’s nerve. -Cheryl Strayed, Tiny Beautiful Things
Cheryl Strayed’s book is a valuable resource for anyone seeking to deepen their understanding of life and love. As Sugar, she provides insightful responses to emails and letters from readers seeking guidance. Reading the letters, I found myself connecting with many of the questions and concerns raised, and I appreciated the wisdom and clarity of Sugar’s responses. What stood out to me most was the “Golden Rule” of “Trust Yourself,” which urges readers to be honest with themselves and validate their true feelings. This powerful message prompts introspection and self-discovery, challenging readers to delve deeper into their own beliefs and emotions.
Trusting our feelings and acknowledging what’s going on in our world is a necessary step towards self-respect. It allows us to ask the hard questions and make informed decisions that are in our best interest. Strayed’s book encourages this process of self-discovery and prompts readers to validate their true feelings. With a clearer understanding of our circumstances, we become more aware of what we need and what we will and won’t tolerate. We begin to prioritize our self-respect and are no longer willing to compromise our values. Understanding a situation and a person’s intentions can solidify our approach and strengthen our commitment to self-respect.
Like many readers, I’ve faced challenging situations that made me question my choices. I realized that I had a choice to make: stay in uncomfortable situations or take the high road. I chose the latter, which helped me become more independent. Strayed’s book is inspirational because it encourages self-respect and making choices that align with our values. Sometimes, walking away from compromising situations is necessary, despite the sacrifice and uncertainty. Staying true to ourselves is always worth it.
“…Boundaries have nothing to do with whether you love someone or not. They are not judgments, punishments, or betrayals. They are a purely peaceable thing: the basic principles you identify for yourself that define the behaviors that you will tolerate from others, as well as the responses you will have to those behaviors. Boundaries teach people how to treat you, and they teach you how to respect yourself.” -Cheryl Strayed, Tiny Beautiful Things
With that sense of clarity, we’re now able to start practicing self-respect. Self-respect is all about understanding yourself and your boundaries. As well as listening to your inner voice that’ll describe what’s acceptable for you. Implementing that practice will indicate to others how they can treat you. So my question is, do you hold yourself in high regard?
As I’ve said before, respect is the basis for any healthy relationship, even when things don’t work out. Respect creates the standard at which people are allowed to treat you. It’s also an act of self-love, which targets fulfilling your own needs as a person. It’s an act of valuing yourself, and although this book targets those universal themes and circumstances that might not always be about respect, I feel that a lot of the advice that Strayed gives, is in regards to valuing yourself and your needs as a person, because it’s necessary.
It’s through these stories that I’m learning, and hopefully, you’ll find yourself learning too, that even though our journey is ours alone, we’re still connected through the human experience. Sometimes sharing stories gives us a better sense of ourselves, and I believe we should always be looking to discover and create who we are. It’s in that knowing, that we can establish what our needs are. It’s in Strayed’s advice, that I found pieces of my self-worth. Self-respect and prioritizing your needs and values, demonstrate that you are valuable and worthy of love to others as well.
Establishing boundaries for yourself, will only strengthen your sense of self-worth and attract the right types of people towards you. I think building a sense of understanding, seeing things for what they are, and actively choosing what we allow into our lives is not only beneficial in the long term but can become the foundation that will serve you for life. As Sugar says, “Take part in your life.” This life is yours and yours alone, so make the decisions that you know deep in your heart that serve you. That’s also a form of self-love; considering yourself.
This book is beautiful. It’s one that I’ll consistently read over as time progresses. It’s taught me so many things, and sometimes all it takes is a bit of perspective. It targets a lot of difficult subjects, and I think the option to remain anonymous gives people a sense of courage that helps them be vulnerable, but these tend to be subjects that many people are unable to discuss openly otherwise. I think overcoming that first step and addressing the things that make us uncomfortable are incredibly brave, and also necessary.