Dating Manifesto: Why Men Love B*tches
Issue 8: Could Sherry Argov be onto something?
Welcome to Spark Siren, where stories inspire impact ✨
As women have come more into themselves in recent years, there have been several social media campaigns that promote either the Sprinkle Sprinkle movement or Black Cat vs. Golden Retriever energy archetypes. Although I don’t necessarily advocate for these methods, I do find them entertaining to watch.
Having been somewhat inspired, I wanted to dive a little deeper into the dating scene through the eyes of Sherry Argov’s Why Men Love B*tches. Although I read the book a few years ago, circling back I found that there were bits of wisdom that any woman could apply to her life that would uplevel her sense of self-worth and self-esteem.
Being a book with such a provocative title, it may prompt women to respond in an apprehensive way. But in essence, the book shows women what a confident and self-assured woman looks like. It gives examples of behaviours to incorporate to not only enhance your own life but also to attract and retain satisfactory relationships.
In this email we’ll cover:
The Book of The Week
Quotes and Questions to Reflect On
Insights and Inspiration
“Truly powerful people don't explain why they want respect. They simply don't engage someone who doesn't give it to them.” - Sherry Argov, Why Men Love Bitches
What’s New?
Book of the Week:
“Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dream Girl” by Sherry Argov
Genre:
Self-Help/ Non-Fiction
Synopsis:
Why Men Love B*tches is a self-help guide that helps women transform from being overly accommodating and transform into women of high value who embody confidence and respect themselves.
This includes prioritising their own needs, establishing clear boundaries, and embracing their independence. The advice she gives is both witty as well as straightforward, and for the time that it was published, challenged the traditional dating advice.
In this regard, the term ‘b*tch’ is more so associated with the type of woman that stands up for herself, embraces her strength, remains assertive, and is authentic in her approach. All qualities that will help woman maintain their sense of self-worth and power in relationships.
It’s a guide that ultimately guides women away from people-pleasing tendencies, towards cultivating a powerful sense of self.
Why We Love It:
Sherry Argov, in my eyes, is the original ‘black cat.’ She’s paved the way for so many women to see ways in which they can approach a relationship so that it would be a happier dynamic for both parties involved. Especially at the time that this was published, which was before I was even old enough to immerse myself in this genre of content. She discussed topics and advised women on guidelines that were likely abstract at that time.
Only in recent years have I experienced an array of information burst through the floodgates of social media, YouTube, and other mediums so that it would be more accessible to the general public. It seems to me that at the time of this book’s release, dissolved the exclusivity around what makes certain women more attractive than others.
However, when you read the book it goes beyond being attractive in a way that keeps heterosexual men wanting more from you, it is more about developing your sense of self and sense of worth which is key to achieving any sort of fulfilment in life. The book encourages women to de-centre men and start to put themselves up on the pedestal of their lives.
Content That Resonates:
Unfortunately, I couldn’t find an interview with the author herself so I looked up the legendary Matthew Hussey (who has gotten me through my earlier dating years).
Quotes and Questions To Reflect On
Quote of the Week:
“When you meet someone who is truly great, he makes you believe you can be great, too. This is the kind of relationship you want, and it's the only kind of relationship worth having.” - Sherry Argov, Why Men Love Bitches
Reflection Questions:
Reflect on areas in your life where you tend to prioritize others over yourself. What changes can you make to ensure you are giving your own needs the attention they deserve?
After reading the book, where do you think your boundaries could be stronger, and how do you think you’ll implement and maintain them in the future?
If you feel that you have yet to express yourself more authentically, how can you start embracing and expressing your authentic self more confidently?
Extra Content: ✨Sprinkle Sprinkle✨
This is solely for entertainment purposes, however, I think that SheraSeven does sometimes offer advice that can help women somewhat benefit from the patriarchy. But in this case, it’s really for a good laugh.
Insights and Inspiration
Author Spotlight:
This Week’s Featured Author:
Sherry Argov
Background:
Sherry Argovis is most iconically known for the book we’re currently delving into, which has been listed as “One of the Most Iconic Books of the Last Decade.” Her book is continually referenced around the world and is also considered to be one of “America’s Top Relationship Guides.” Her personal life remains private, however, the success of her book continues to be included within the pop culture narrative, suggesting that the book’s guiding principles remain effective.
Other Works:
“Why Men Marry B*tches” by Sherry Argov
Similar Books:
“Love Life” by Matthew Hussey
“Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man” by Steve Harvey
Beyond The Book:
Closing Remark
We need to value and respect ourselves first and foremost before we give someone else to determine who we are. Knowing who we are, what value we bring, and where our boundaries are requires us to honestly familiarise ourselves with where we stand. It also requires us to know where we want to go as well as what it will take for us to get there.
This book, as well as all of the advice above, can narrow down a pathway that would help us achieve that high level of confidence and self-esteem, but it also requires us to put in the work, otherwise, the actions become superficial. It can also lead us to show up as entitled if we’re not careful.
To fully embody those characteristics that attract a fulfilling relationship, self-esteem, and confidence, we need to fully believe in ourselves. Our abilities, sense of respect, and knowing what value a woman has in this world, will all add to the confidence that you can develop over time.
Knowing who you are and being brave enough to learn to grow into who you want to be may be daunting, but it’s a necessary task so that you don’t fall victim to someone else’s opinions and projections.
It may be hard, or it may even take long, but once you become that person you will become unshakeable. Developing character, interests, mindset, and abilities are things that nobody can take away from you, especially not the men that you are dating.
Until Next Time!
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Keep living life on your terms!
Warm regards,
June Tara
Founder of Spark Siren