Love Notes
Issue 29: Lessons from Natasha Lunn's Book, "Conversations on Love"
Welcome to Spark Siren, where stories inspire impact ✨
Natasha Lunn’s Conversations on Love is a thoughtful exploration of how love shapes our lives—not just in romantic relationships, but in friendships, family bonds, and self-acceptance. Through insightful conversations with writers, psychologists, and thinkers, Lunn examines how we seek, nurture, and sometimes lose love, offering reflections that encourage deeper self-awareness.
One passage that stood out to me was:
“In my earliest efforts at love, imagination was a thief that stole truth and perspective.”
This encapsulates one of the book’s central themes: the ways we sometimes project our desires onto relationships rather than seeing them for what they truly are. Lunn’s writing encourages readers to examine love with honesty, helping them develop the language to better understand their own relationships and emotional landscapes.
What makes this book especially compelling is its balance of personal storytelling, psychological insight, and philosophical reflection. It doesn’t dictate how love should be but instead invites readers to explore love in its many forms—its joys, its losses, and the lessons it teaches us along the way.
To purchase the book from amazon.co.uk, click the affiliate link here.
In this email we’ll cover:
What’s New
Reflections
Insights
Closing Remarks
What’s New?
Book of the Week:
Conversations onn Love by Natasha Lunn
Genre:
Non-Fiction
Personal Rating:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Synopsis:
In Conversations on Love, journalist Natasha Lunn embarks on a deeply personal and thought-provoking exploration of love in all its forms—romantic, familial, platonic, and self-love. Through candid interviews with writers, psychologists, and thinkers, including Alain de Botton, Roxane Gay, and Esther Perel, she uncovers what it truly means to love and be loved. Blending memoir with insight, Lunn reflects on the joys, losses, and complexities of human connection, offering a tender and profound meditation on how love shapes our lives.
Why We Love It:
Natasha Lunn explores what it means to love—something so many of us seek to understand. Love is a topic that has been revisited time and time again, yet each exploration reveals new dimensions of our relationships. In my opinion, it’s both a fascinating and essential subject, especially since relationships are deeply interwoven into our daily lives. While we’ve discussed dating before, approaching love from this perspective allows us to delve into the deeper psychological undercurrents of our connections, rather than just the act of dating itself. We’re exploring what it truly means to love and be loved.
When I say psychological undercurrents, I’m referring to the profound ways our relationships shape us—from how we see ourselves to how we engage with the world. Relationships are among the most influential aspects of our psychology, which is why it’s so important to be both intentional and discerning. I’ve said this before, but it’s worth repeating: you want to surround yourself with people who genuinely want to see you shine. Relationships shouldn’t be taken lightly, as they have the power to shift the entire trajectory of your life.
Choosing the right people to have in your life can lead to some of the most valuable lessons and fulfilling experiences. If we are intentional about the person we want to become, books like Conversations on Love can help us navigate those waters with greater clarity. The book is insightful, offering reflections and suggestions to consider rather than pushing a single narrative. It approaches this universal yet deeply personal topic with the nuance and care it deserves. If you ever find yourself uncertain about love—whether in a past connection, as I once was—this book provides meaningful guidance and perspective.
My Thoughts:
This book became a valuable reference for me during a difficult time. Perhaps that’s too personal to share, but I think it serves as a good example of how the book can introduce new perspectives and ways of thinking about love. Instead of spending months trying to navigate a challenging situation on my own, I used that time to ask myself the hard questions—the ones that required me to confront the truth. It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary for living authentically. That process marked the beginning of rediscovering who I was and, in turn, helped me reconnect with my own worth, values, and standards.
Lunn offers a fitting analogy in the book:
“When you are not being honest in a relationship—to another person or to yourself—it is a little like screwing on the top of a jam jar when the ridges are out of line. An onlooker might think you are screwing it on just fine, but you can feel a stiffness developing that warns you it’s not on properly, and you know then that, however hard you try to keep turning it, the lid will never tightly seal.”
When I read this, it resonated deeply. I realized that, more often than not, we sense early on whether something is a good fit. Yet, whether due to external pressures or a lack of trust in ourselves to make a more aligned decision, we sometimes push forward with a partnership anyway.
To make choices that truly align with our goals and who we are, we have to be honest with ourselves. Of all the insights in Conversations on Love, this one stood out the most to me. It’s easy to settle into something comfortable, even when we know deep down it isn’t right—because facing the truth can feel harder. But that kind of behavior isn’t just limited to relationships; it can spill into other areas of life as well. I found myself wondering: if I let myself fall into this pattern now, will I continue to do so in other aspects of my life?
Recognizing that pattern was a turning point for me, a reminder that love—like any important decision—requires honesty, courage, and a willingness to choose what truly serves us, even when it’s difficult.
Reflections
Quote of the Week:
“Love is not a state of enthusiasm. It's a verb. It implies action, demonstration, ritual, practices, communication, expression. It's the ability to take responsibility of one's own behavior. Responsibility is freedom.” - Natasha Lunn, Conversations on Love
Reflection Questions:
How has your understanding of love evolved after reading this book?
In what ways do you practice honesty with yourself and others in relationships?
Which form of love discussed in the book resonated with you the most—romantic, platonic, familial, or self-love?
Insights
Author Spotlight:
Natasha Lunn
Background:
Conversations on Love began as a newsletter which launched in 2017, in which Natasha Lunn interviews authors or experts on relationships and love in all its forms. Her work on the newsletter eventually developed into her first book, which incorporates some of these interviews and insights called, “Conversations on Love.”
Beyond the Book:
Closing Remarks
Conversations on Love is more than just a book about relationships—it’s an invitation to look at love in all its forms with greater honesty and depth. Through personal stories, psychological insights, and thought-provoking reflections, Natasha Lunn encourages us to move beyond idealized notions of love and instead embrace the complexities that come with it.
As we navigate our own relationships, whether romantic, platonic, or familial, the key takeaway from this book is the importance of self-awareness and intentionality. Love is not just about finding the right person or maintaining connections—it’s also about understanding ourselves, recognizing our needs, and making choices that align with our values. The stories and insights shared in Conversations on Love remind us that love is both beautiful and challenging, requiring vulnerability, patience, and courage.
Ultimately, this book offers an opportunity for readers to reflect on how they give and receive love in their own lives. It encourages us to ask the hard questions, embrace growth, and appreciate the relationships that truly nurture us. Whether you’re seeking clarity, healing, or simply a deeper understanding of love, this book serves as a thoughtful guide for the journey ahead.
Until Next Time!
Thank you so much for being a part of the Spark Siren community! If you’ve enjoyed reading Spark Siren and you would like to receive weekly emails instead of monthly emails, remember to subscribe to the paid version here on Substack.
Otherwise, thank you for being a part of the Spark Siren community, where we inspire impact through the power of story.
June Tara
Creator of Spark Siren